It was our first Christmas in Rotherham, a town which not so many years ago was twinned with Mordor, but after much unrest and complaints from the locals, Mordor won and the twinning was ended. And so December the 25th arrived at our little flat in Rotherham, a few days earlier I had gone out and shot the Turkey myself. the staff at Tesco's weren't very happy about it and insisted that I had to purchase it now as no other soft bugger would.
The Turkey was cooked with great care and a feast fit for ourselves was prepared for consumption on Christmas day. And lo from the East (local Asda) there came some crackers which were pulled asunder with great abandon. Out of Angie's fell some incredible nail clippers, while out of mine came a majestic yo-yo in a deep irridescent pink. When held up to the light, it split the rays up into a rainbow with a lovely warming pink hue that was almost magical to behold.
I examined the humour and the words of wisdom that fell magically from the cracker, the humour inside was subtle and incredibly amusing and indeed, it took some seconds for us to stop laughing. Then I inspected the yo-yo, I carefully held it in my hand, checking it's weight, it's balance, it's shape, it was perfect.
I stood up and assumed the stance of a professional yo-yoer, tied the string carefully round my finger and extended my arm, with a deft flick I sent the weighted end majestically towards the wall intending to pull it back to me at the last moment leaving everyone watching gasping with delight and amazement. The yo-yo reached the end of it's string and at that point became a yo as it and the string parted company and the speeding bit of plastic now smashed against the wall and resolved itself into it's constituant components.
Bloody cheap gifts from crackers
No comments:
Post a Comment