The MRI Scan

For some months I had been having some pains in my left arm and tingling in my fingers, I could make my hand go numb by rubbing the back of my arm or by letting the water from the shower hit me on my shoulder.

The arm was that bad that I couldn't lie on it and couldn't lie on the other side as the pains would keep me awake.

And so after several visits to the doctors it was decided that I should undergo a thing called a nerve conduction test. As this is the 21st century I had all sorts of ideas about the equipment that would be used for this test. And so you can imagine my utter disappointment when I found that the only equipment that would be used were some small pins and a hammer.

I was jabbed in the finger and asked if I could feel it and hit on the joints in my arm with the hammer to see if my left arm twitched as much as my right one.
After the test I was told that basically there was nothing wrong with me other than wear and tear but to be on the safe side I would be booked in for an MRI scan.

I have to say that on the day of the scan I was a bit nervous, maybe there were bits of metal in my body that I knew nothing about, maybe I should have gone easy on the iron tablets and how many cans of Irn Bru was it safe to drink before entering one of these things.

So I entered the waiting room and my name as called, I was escorted out of the hospital to a mobile MRI unit asked if any bits of me were metallic and could I leave any change in a dish in the control room.

Then it was onto the machine, it's basically a long tube not much bigger than you and a bed on rails that slides in and out. You lie down on the bed, stick some headphones on as it's a bit noisy and then put your head in between two blocks while they clamp a bit of plastic over the front of your head to stop it moving about too much. You are given a panic button in case you become a bit worried and then you are slid completely into this tube.

That wasn't too bad and there were a few noises similar to a flat bed scanner which I didn't think was a problem. But this appeared to be akin to the orchestra tuning up before playing the 1812 at number 11 on the amp.

It started, it was like the opening of Spirit of The Age by Hawkwind played at full volume through several reverb units and a tape loop. Quite enjoyable really and then after a while it stopped and I seemed to move down a bit.

That was quick I thought, just as Hawkwind once again launched into Masters of The Universe  the really heavy mix all around me and this time it was the full unedited track.

Eventually, it stopped and the bed slid out and I was told that my results would be sent to the specialist who would tell me what they showed.

All my fillings were still intact, no unknown internal staples had been ripped from the internals of my body and accelerated to light speed by the magnetic field around me, I didn't turn green when I got angry and no laser beams shot out of me eyes when I took my glasses off, so that was it till the results come through.

And when they do I'll be back here rambling on again as normal.